Tuesday, February 5, 2008

Furballs for consideration

I didn't make these up, and you may have already seen some of them. But they make me laugh. After a few soap boxes in this space, it's about time for something like this.

Here are some of my favourite observations by comedian Steve Wright, who originally made them, and I'd like to take this space today to share some of my favourites.

1. Borrow money from pessimists -- they don't expect it back.
2. If everything seems to be going well, you have obviously overlooked something.
3. Hard work pays off in the future, laziness pays off now.
4. If at first you don't succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried.

The Truth
1. A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.
2. If you want the rainbow, you got to put up with the rain.
3. Depression is merely anger without enthusiasm.
4. Eagles may soar, but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines.
5. A conclusion is the place where you got tired of thinking.
6. To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism; to steal from many is research.

1. Half the people you know are below average.
2. Ambition is a poor excuse for not being smart enough to be lazy.
3. I intend to live forever... so far, so good.
4. If Barbie is so popular, why do you have to buy her friends?
5. The hardness of the butter is proportional to the softness of the bread.

Contributed by Jamie Naessens

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