Canine Crimes

For those of you who are on the sensitive side, this may not be for you. But it has a happy ending, so if you are squeamish, skip right through to the end of this. So here goes...

Dogs are occasionally prone to intestinal distress, sometimes for reasons unknown. And that's okay, usually a little fasting required, and they're good to go.

But with all the dog sickness in our house the last little while, I'm a little sensitive to this, and when I came home today, I found a small "gift" in the living room. Thanks... but who's gift is it? Is it from Penny, the little one, notorious for racking up rather substantial vet bills, as recently as last week? Or perhaps from Keeta... who on occasion, just has... issues.

This is when I break out my CSI kit, put on my Sherlock Holmes hat and get right into household puppy forensics.

So who's the culprit? Nobody's talking.

So now I have to escort each one out to see who it is with the issue. It would really be a drag to treat the wrong dog... if we think it's Penny, such issues could lead to the decision for further blood tests based on her recent illness (and tests for her condition aren't cheap). But then if it turns out to be Keeta, we'd feel mighty foolish. A little fasting and Keeta would be all fixed up. And that wouldn't cost us a cent.

So now, instead of letting them out to do their business, I take them out to supervise any impending issues. If any. It could be just a case of the Creeping Crud. Hopefully that's all it is.

Did I mention I love dogs? Really, I do...

Late one night, a burglar broke into a house he thought was empty. He tiptoed through the living room but suddenly he froze in his tracks when he heard a loud voice say, "Jesus is watching you!"

Silence returned to the house, so the burglar crept forward again.

"Jesus is watching you," the voice boomed again. The burglar stopped dead again. He was frightened. Frantically, he looked all around. In a dark corner, he spotted a bird cage and in the cage was a parrot.

He asked the parrot, "Was that you who said Jesus is watching me?"

"Yes", said the parrot.

The burglar breathed a sigh of relief, and asked the parrot, "What's your name?"

"Clarence," said the bird.

"That's a dumb name for a parrot," sneered the burglar. "What idiot named you Clarence?"

The parrot replied, "The same idiot who named the Rottweiller Jesus."

Contributed by Jamie Naessens