Tuesday, August 26, 2008

Garbage hero?

Yesterday, as I worked away here in my home office, a “green bin” was dropped off in front of our house. For those who are unfamiliar with this medium-sized plastic container, it is supposed to hold one’s “wet” garbage and is something else to be trotted out on garbage day. Inside this container is a smaller one, a mini bin one might call it, which you place in your kitchen for the not always convenient deposit of wet garbage.

Neither Jamie nor I requested this green bin. Yet here it is all the same. When it was delivered, trumpets did not sound a tribute in honour of its arrival to echo off the houses across the street, angels did not burst into heavenly harmony, a rainbow did not spring forth in brilliant colour over the town and the earth did not move. Yet Jamie tells me that this green bin proclaims in written script on its side for all to see, the words, “I’m a hero.”

Huh? A hero? A garbage hero no less?

A quick google for the definition of hero offers this from the Free Online Dictionary. “A person noted for feats of courage or nobility of purpose, especially one who has risked or sacrificed his or her life.”

Now let’s think about that for a second in terms of what is plastered on the side of our brand new green bin. Will Jamie and I risk our lives when we use this thing? I really don’t think so. We may risk our sanity as we try to work out what in the world we’re supposed to dump in it, but I’m pretty confident that we’ll go right on living.

Hero is a word that is, in my not so humble opinion, a word that is vastly overused, even abused. That being said, I hope you won’t mind a thought or two from your faithful scribe, not to mention newly designated trashy substances hero. I am a proud and I think pretty good step Dad. At least Steph isn’t complaining. I’m a happy and fine husband. Jamie seems pleased unless I leave yesterday’s underwear lying around in some random location. I’ve received no customer complaints lately, so I guess that means I run a pretty fair small business and our family of furballs all seem satisfied with me... even Rocky, who can be hard to please at times. Does all this make me a hero? Not from where I’m sitting. It makes me a good person who still screws up from time to time.I can try to improve on the screwing up part, but as long as I’m a good person, I’m pretty well pleased with that.

For sure, I do not wish to be a garbage hero. I will comply with the local ordinance by separating “wet” garbage from the rest, if I can figure out what qualifies. I will do that because I’ve been ordered to do it along with everyone else who lives in the town that I call home. But do I even believe in it? Well, it can’t hurt I suppose. But until industry is forced to stop using every aspect of our environment as a toilet, I seriously doubt that it will improve our quality of life if I toss my banana peels in the green bin.

Hmmm, just by the way, are banana peels officially defined as “WET” garbage?

Contributed by Larry Naessens


  1. Yes, bananas are wet garbage. So are diapers and bones, at least in our area. We can give you lessons on bin management as we have been through the learning curve. We were not called heros, though.

  2. Can't wait to start bin management school! Will we be graded? Is there homework?