Some Good Advice

As you may know, I love the absurd. Absurd situations and stories make me laugh out loud, so I love finding these treasures in my inbox. They are often not intended to do so, but let me explain.

I'm a member of several online groups, and there is always a tidbit or two that amuse, irritate, and even inform me. This tip was shared in a support group for diabetics, with all earnestness of someone who really believes this. Now as you read the following, put yourself in the shoes of the wait staff in a restaurant as they draw straws, "Who gets to take the crazy person at table 8?"

Several weeks ago someone asked if there was some way to test to make sure you were given diet coke and not "regular" coke in a restaurant. In the September/October issue of Diabetes Self-Management Magazine, they address that issue. They say to to buy the dip-sticks designed for checking for sugar in the urine from your local pharmacy. Whenmoistened with a drop of sugar-sweetened soft drink, the dipstick will register sugar by changing color. However, if it's diet, it will not display a color change. I don't remember who asked about this before but thought it might be of interest to anyone who can't tell the difference just by taste and wants to make sure they are getting what they ordered.

Perhaps the person who wrote this really believes that it is good advice. And maybe, if this person wants to go to such great lengths to make sure their drink is diet, more power to him or her.

But perhaps, just perhaps, one could just inquire about said drink, and maybe just send it back and ask for another. Perhaps, if this person is the type given to such paranoia, they might consider ordering water with a twist of lemon. Hey, what a concept.

But looking at it from my own corner, as someone with diabetes, it took me years to get comfortable with doing a blood test with my meter at the table - which is one of the unfortunate requirements of my own treatment. But let me tell you, I'm not ever EVER going to be taking out a pee stick - even an unused one - at a table in a restaurant just to see if a Coke is diet or not.

And I think that good advice for anyone not wanting to be called the Crazy Person at Table 8.

Contributed by Jamie Naessens

A Little Autumn Honesty

Allow me to climb briefly aboard my soapbox to proclaim the official beginning of Fall. No it’s not because the temperature last night dipped to 6C (43F) or because the flowers have given up flowering for another year.

It is because today, for the first time this season, my day was interrupted by somebody ringing our doorbell who claimed, like all his energy pedaling brethren to be bubbling over with the sincere desire to save Jamie and me dollars and more dollars on our energy bill.

Do you experience a similar fall phenomenon at your house? If so, maybe you’d like to join me in wondering about something.

How is it that all of these energy hucksters can save us the same bucketful of money?

Sure, they claim they can. But can they all be as sincere as they claim?

If some of them are truly ready to save us more money then the others, then those others must not be as sincere as they claim. Either that or they are not trying hard enough.

Let’s set the record straight. What they are trying to do is to sell us something. I have no problem with that just as long as the person doing the selling is ringing neither our doorbell nor our phone.

Oh, and one other thing.

When somebody is trying to sell something and I’m on the listening end, do you know what I hate more than anything? I hate it when the seller in question says that he/she has rung my doorbell or phone, not to intentionally intrude on my busy day, but because he/she just wants to save me money.

Really? Ok, good enough. Every one of these door-to-door dealers has my best interest at heart.

Now, having conceded that point, please allow me to offer these door-to-door and phone-to-phone sales folks my own concern, with only their best interest in mind of course.

After having my work interrupted today by the first of many who will offer to perform cost reduction miracles on our energy bill, I especially want to save these energy pedaling guys and gals some real energy.

Please do not expend the energy that it will take to ring our doorbell or our telephone. You may be selling energy nervana and I wish you well, but I’m not buying.

And you know what? I suspect that I am speaking for most of the good people who are reading this. If so, please join me up here on my soapbox. There’s plenty of room for everyone.

Oh, just one small thing, up here on my soapbox, unsolicited sales pitches are not allowed.

Contributed by Larry Naessens

Garbage hero?

Yesterday, as I worked away here in my home office, a “green bin” was dropped off in front of our house. For those who are unfamiliar with this medium-sized plastic container, it is supposed to hold one’s “wet” garbage and is something else to be trotted out on garbage day. Inside this container is a smaller one, a mini bin one might call it, which you place in your kitchen for the not always convenient deposit of wet garbage.

Neither Jamie nor I requested this green bin. Yet here it is all the same. When it was delivered, trumpets did not sound a tribute in honour of its arrival to echo off the houses across the street, angels did not burst into heavenly harmony, a rainbow did not spring forth in brilliant colour over the town and the earth did not move. Yet Jamie tells me that this green bin proclaims in written script on its side for all to see, the words, “I’m a hero.”

Huh? A hero? A garbage hero no less?

A quick google for the definition of hero offers this from the Free Online Dictionary. “A person noted for feats of courage or nobility of purpose, especially one who has risked or sacrificed his or her life.”

Now let’s think about that for a second in terms of what is plastered on the side of our brand new green bin. Will Jamie and I risk our lives when we use this thing? I really don’t think so. We may risk our sanity as we try to work out what in the world we’re supposed to dump in it, but I’m pretty confident that we’ll go right on living.

Hero is a word that is, in my not so humble opinion, a word that is vastly overused, even abused. That being said, I hope you won’t mind a thought or two from your faithful scribe, not to mention newly designated trashy substances hero. I am a proud and I think pretty good step Dad. At least Steph isn’t complaining. I’m a happy and fine husband. Jamie seems pleased unless I leave yesterday’s underwear lying around in some random location. I’ve received no customer complaints lately, so I guess that means I run a pretty fair small business and our family of furballs all seem satisfied with me... even Rocky, who can be hard to please at times. Does all this make me a hero? Not from where I’m sitting. It makes me a good person who still screws up from time to time.I can try to improve on the screwing up part, but as long as I’m a good person, I’m pretty well pleased with that.

For sure, I do not wish to be a garbage hero. I will comply with the local ordinance by separating “wet” garbage from the rest, if I can figure out what qualifies. I will do that because I’ve been ordered to do it along with everyone else who lives in the town that I call home. But do I even believe in it? Well, it can’t hurt I suppose. But until industry is forced to stop using every aspect of our environment as a toilet, I seriously doubt that it will improve our quality of life if I toss my banana peels in the green bin.

Hmmm, just by the way, are banana peels officially defined as “WET” garbage?

Contributed by Larry Naessens

A View of the Olympics

As much as I admire those who can do great feats of athleticism, I must share that the 2008 Olympics didn't make a blip on my world. I did see Usain's amazing 100 meter race. I did see Phelp's superhuman achievements, but has anything changed? It seems like the China of the past has faded into the dim recesses of our memories.

We should remember, or consider, that this is all a façade. It is a front for the world to see. Reporters and journalists, broadcasters and news outlets have brought us images of China that have shown us technological advance and historical beauty. The Olympic event itself has shown us athletes of the world at their best. But don't forget, this is a world in which Britney's underwear, or lack thereof, and the opening of The Dark Knight can seem like real news.

I'm not the first to say this but I will. What Were They Thinking?

What were they thinking by bringing attention to a country that has a poor civil rights record?

I wonder, as I've watched the media unfold this event with an idle curiosity, has this country really changed? I'd venture to suggest that the only things that China has changed is that it has learned to hide its dirty laundry.

But will its human rights be brought to those who have been oppressed be restored by bringing world attention to it?

I also could wonder why China invited such scrutiny in the first place. But on reflection, it might well have been about economics and validation. But has anything really changed?

As the world demands more Chinese products, do I believe that workers rights will be enforced? That people will no longer be jailed without trial, even killed without justice being served? I think not. Perhaps Tiananmen Square is in the past, but only driven underground, not gone.

At this moment, the Chinese are drawing a sigh of relief as the reporters and journalists are packing up their mikes and cameras. Sports fans and curiosity seekers are similarly packing their souvenirs, digging out their passports and taking cabs to the airport.

The Outsiders are going home, and China is resuming business... business as usual.

Contributed by Jamie Naessens