Where to go from here?

You may have noticed this, I haven't been posting a lot lately, and I've been asking myself why. I've been asking myself, "What is my value to the community."

Now, I'm not talking about my value as a person or my value to my family or to the in my life. However, I've been giving some serious thought about my fit within the DOC (Diabetes Online Community) family and beyond.

The Issue

To give some perspective to this issue, I spend a tremendous amount of time commuting - 2 hours each way to and from work. One might think this downtime could offer me a wonderful opportunity to come up with some creative stuff. But as it turns out, I suck at writing blogs while travelling. Sometimes the demanding days plus the ups and downs of my diabetic life collide, and I don't have the energy to do anything but tweet 140 characters at a time, or just take a nap while travelling. So as it turns out, my most creative moments do not happen while I'm enroute to and from work.

Once I get home, there's the rush of getting dinner on the table, making it on time for DSMA night, or just having the energy to stay awake while watching the next episode of Castle (Best.Show.Ever). Ok, I lied. I don't have any trouble staying awake for Castle, but once I've watched it, I'm ready to fall into bed, and then I rinse and repeat.

So lately I haven't even had time to visit the blogs that I've always loved reading. I just can't keep up with them all. So it seems to leave me with the rather sucky choice of choosing whether to read them or trying to write something that I don't have the energy or inspiration to write.

Don't get me wrong. I do love this blog and I fancy myself an ok writer. But apparently I can only write a complete blog when I'm inspired. If I get distracted (which happens easily), they get abandoned (poor little orphans). I estimate that I've got a half dozen or more unfinished blog posts because this whole living life, dealing with diabetes thing keeps interfering. I don't have time to read blogs, I barely have time to tweet (except for the aforementioned train tweeting) and I certainly have little time to advocate, which I feel is a very important thing to do given the state of the misunderstandings out there in the wild.

So what is a person to do?

After reexamining what my strengths are, I've decided to focus on the JamieAnNa Journal. It occurred to me that this little rag is perhaps the perfect venue for me.

I figure that by doing this, I can combine my love of reading blogs, taking the time to feature the ones that have some inspirational story, some informational tidbit or a snip of randomness that I think readers might might like too. So I've decided that I'm going to put on my very stylish editor-in-chief hat and rock this paper with the stories that touch me - and hope that they might touch you too.

I hope that the JamieAnNa Journal will become a go-to place to find some great information and be entertaining at the same time. I plan to feature the real people - in the DOC and beyond - who live with diabetes every day. I will provide information in a compelling, entertaining and somewhat eclectic way - because that's what I like... and I'm the editor. So why not!

I do hope my skills as an editor will allow me to connect with those already part of the DOC, and will reach out to more people who have yet to discover the DOC - and reach out in a format that might go beyond Twitter or Facebook - in an interesting way. I hope it will become a go-to point for people with diabetes of any type - whether they have type 1 diabetes like myself, are part of the type 2 diabetes crowd, or whether they are type awesomes - who are part of our invaluable support networks.

More than Diabetes

Another important point here before your eyes glaze over with all this diabetes talk - this paper will not only be only about diabetic stuff. True enough, it will often feature diabetes, but just as I am about more than diabetes, so will this paper. I will still keep an eye out for some cool technology, neat ideas, pop culture, random bits of political theatre... who knows what it might have.

Finally...

As a final note, my blogging days are definitely not over. As Editor-In-Chief, I reserve the right to feature my own blog from time to time. Hey, why not - I feel no shame in admitting that I would do such a thing. So the Flying Furballs blog will still be live and ready to go when the creative moment moves me.

So over the next few days, I am going to be reimagining the JamieAnna Journal - heck, I may even be changing the name. So stay tuned. I'll be sharing soon.

And I figure why not give this a try. If I can take on this diabetes thing, I can do this too.

Keeping it simple

This post might be a little early for Christmas but I didnt want to get too caught up in things before having the opportunity to write it because if you post this kind of thing in January, it's just kinda weird. We all know that it's so easy to get so busy that we miss all that is out there for us to appreciate - the sights, the smells, the sounds that surround us. 

For those of us who have diabetes, this is doubly true because we also deal with a disease that tends to dominate our time, and we count buckets of carbs, we rage bolus trying to get our blood glucose numbers in line, and we ride the famous glucoaster. We do all of this and we do all the things that regular folk do - the shopping, the baking, and all the things that go along with the holiday season. And some of us crash and burn. 

I was reminded on the weekend that simple things make me happy. As we took down our rather bedraggled but well-loved fake Christmas tree and put up a mighty fine Douglas fir, the smell of the tree scented air, mingling with a hint of apple cinnamon spice (alas compliments of Glade, not my baking).

The room has lit up from colourful tree lights, pretty garlands wrapped with more coloured lights, wrapping the room. As a twinkling wonderland emerged in our house, the room also filled with Christmas carols and songs, setting the mood, and throwing me back to sometime way back. I love Christmas music. And what better song to decorate the tree and my family room for Christmas than a little Vince Guaraldi and dancing to a little Linus and Lucy.

But I saw something else this weekend, that just made me feel happy. It made me happy because a 16 year old youth, who totally gets Christmas and what it's all about, created a wonderful video, performing the Little Drummer Boy - the drums, all the instruments, directing, shots - everything. Gotta love this dude!

He says, "I just want people to remember what Christmas is about. It's not about Santa, it's not about presents. It's about the birth of Christ, and that's what's important to me right now."

In an interview with CBC News, Sean Quigley, a high school student in Winnipeg, Manitoba, tells the story of how the video came to be. He was going to film it in front of the Christmas tree, but the lighting wasn't working, and he scrapped the idea the night before he was to shoot it. He said, "I prayed that I would get something awesome and woke up the next day and it just happened to snow all night and the beautiful scenery that you see in the music video."

He touches on what faith can bring - that sometimes that we are given the gift of what we need. And we can learn from that. 

He also says, in a typical way that only a 16 year old can carry off so casually, "I just did it for kicks".

Yeah, Sean. You did it in the best way possible and you remind us what this is all about, and there is no better time than this as we get busy with the season. Whether it's Christmas, Hanukkah, or whatever you celebrate, let this young dude remind us to take a moment, breathe deeply and remember that life is about the simple things. It's time to say to the people in our lives, thanks for being there. And as I get busy this season, buying gifts and whatnots for the people in our lives,I will once again immerse myself in the twinkling lights, hints of air freshener fresh baking and forest smells in my family room Christmas Wonderland, while enjoying some cookies Bailey's, listening to music and remembering that it's not the gifts that make this a wonderful time of year. I will remember what it's all about and just hang out with those that mean the most to me. (That, and I won't forget to bolus for said Bailey's!)

This season I resolve to subscribe to the KISS principle - Keep It Simple Santa.

An Open Letter: Are we all listening?

Dear Diabetes Medical Professional:

I'm not here to tell you how to do your job. I haven't gone to school for years like you have. I haven't spent countless hours, days and nights pouring over medical text books. I haven't been bored to tears during the driest lecture (on diabetes) ever.  I haven't spent sleepless nights during the craziness of the full moon in the ER, trying to peer into the ears of a wiggly, screaming toddler with equally hysterical parents.

But let me tell you what I do know. I know that I am your patient. I know I have a disease that needs to be managed well, and that I could suffer through a host of complications that could rob me of my quality of life… or life itself.

Did you know it doesn't help me if you share scary stories with me? Did you know that it makes me anxious when you ask me what happened, pointing out the red-circled high blood sugar numbers in my log.

Because guess what? I have heard these stories over and over again. I've heard them from you, or other professionals like you. I've heard them from well-meaning family members, friends and colleagues who tell me about a grandmother, an aunt, or a friend who lost limbs, eyesight or even worse, a child who lost the battle in their sleep, before she even had a chance.

So you might wonder what I need from you? 

First and foremost, I need you to understand that I respect you bring medical and other valuable diabetes knowledge to the table. I also don't expect you to have all the answers.

In return, I expect that you will want to understand where I'm coming from. That when I come to you with a crappy A1C, or a concern about my wildly fluctuating BG numbers, or heaven forbid, one complication or another. I am not coming to you for admonishment, or to be asked for a rundown of what happened two Tuesdays ago, at 2:13 pm when I had a high BG number.

Just keep this in mind, can you tell me what you wore to work two Tuesdays ago? That's just one day out of 14. I test 8 times a day - that's more than 50 tests a week!

Please know that I have done my best at just getting through life. I have won some battles, and lost others. I will continue to work on things, to improve, and as I step out of your office, I will have the resolve to do better, and I will. My A1C may or may not accurately reflect this. But it doesn't mean that I haven't stopped trying.

All I ask is that you try to listen to me. Really listen. I promise that I'll try to listen to you as well. Really listen. If we both do this, it will form a strong backbone for our relationship. We can win this together - you as a Diabetes Medical Professional and me, as a Person With Diabetes.

Finally, please remember, that I am a person first.

Picture Story: Game anyone?

Wordless Wednesday

Nom nom nom... cheesecake infusion set